the certainty of not knowing....

So I must admit that I am doing considerably better then my last post. I was in a state if anger and frustration....now I am just sad.....not sad in general but saddened that anyone could treat another human being the way I was treated. Even If I saw another person treat a friend like that I would be sad. One day this last week I opened my bible and read psalm 37 which told me exactly what I needed to hear. I need to stop caring about the wickedness I see in other people's hearts and give it up to God. End of story.....no if's, and's, or but's about it. It's done and over with and I cannot controll the behavior of another. I've let him know that treating me this way is unacceptable and he has proceeded to ignore me so I'm over and out. 

Maybe this is strange but I keep thinking about how if we were all up in heaven right now, would his behavior towards me be the same? I'm thinking no. It also make me think about my actions. I was reading 1john and over and over again it says how our actions are a reflection of where our hearts are at. It's made me stop and think about my actions a long with the actions of others. I began to think about people who I hold in high regards to in my life.....if there actions are not those of someone who claims to be high and mighty.....then maybe I shouldn't hold them as high and mighty anymore. After all God says we are all sinners right? I need to make sure that my actions are what I say I believe, because if there not then I know my actions are coming from the heart, which apparently can get you into so major trouble when it comes to selfishness. 

I just thought I would update anyone who is reading this on my life as of late. Things are going really good, except I'm pretty sure I'm sick and I'm hoping it's not strep, sense It's going around and I have not had it sense I was 7. I'm trying to hang out with friends more because this term shouldn't be as crazy as last term, and I'm trying to rekindle friendships with people who really inspire me to be just me. No offense to anyone but I really did feel that a few people I hung out with at the beginning of this year put a lot of pressure on me to be someone I wasn't. I wasn't about to change so I became a lot quieter. So I've been embracing the deep meaningful friendships that I had with people once before but also making new friends.....there might also be a new interest in my life ;) but I'm waiting on God to show me if that's a path he wants me to take or not. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm not the kind of girl that goes looking for relationships but if the opportunity presents its self then I would love to, even if only for a moment in time, share my life with someone else. I like having someone there to laugh with but also have deep conversations with. Of coarse there are other things I look for in a guy as well but I surely won't reveal all of them on the vast depths of the internet. today I thought of a silly facebook pick up line, "If there was an I like button for you....I would push it," and highly considered posting it on a certain someone's wall, but instead my shy girl side kicked in and decided to post in on my friend Ali's wall because I knew it would make her laugh....it did. :) 

I've also discovered, well actually someone showed me, a new feature on my camera where it picks up one color and everything else is in black and white. I took some sweet pictures when I was working at Spring Break camp at the summer camp I usually work at. I also used it on my friend alexa and I's modle shoot in the park.....I want to show you. enjoy.