Hello life

I find my days are getting easier and I've learned a great deal about stress. I've been reflecting on all god has given me in the past few months. I think he's strengthened me as well as guided me into becoming even more of a woman of God. I had a great deal of stress with this term as I got into the midst of it. It's my senior year and I had misperceived the amount of credits I needed to graduate and ended up taking more then I could probably chew. But I know that deep inside God knew that I would have to rely on him. You know that feeling when you pray to give up all your load to god but somehow you still hold onto it? Yeah...that was me. Not saying that this won't be me in the future. I told God I wanted to be free...and If I couldn't feel it then I needed him to teach me how. I learned a few things after this. I had a friend tell me that she used to deal with the same thing. She said to fix this she learned to pray before she would do her homework or study. She prayed to stay focused and that she would get what she needed to done and remember all she had learned. I thought...wow....why have I never thought of this. Another things I learned, and what Tim has been saying to me for some time now, that I need to take breaks to stay sane. I agree! I am glad to say that these past few weeks I have been doing a lot better in this area. I even learned that two projects I thought were due next week are actually due in two weeks. I am actually ahead!

Something that has also been on my mind as of late is my life in general and where it is going. I know what I want but I through much prayer i have decided the best thing for me is to take a year off. I plan to get a job, volunteer in a high school, and spend time with Tim. It seems to be getting harder and harder to say bye to him when he goes back to portland after visiting me. We also aren't exactly sure where he is going to end up after he graduates. He wants to be a camp director and we are both praying that it will be near where ever I am, whether that's in graduate school, which I plan to go to after my year is up, or whether I'm still in Eugene. There are a lot of things up in the air right now. I know for certain I am moving in with my dad at the end of the school year, but I am not sure for how long I will stay their because I might get a roommate so my brother can move back in. Things are a little bit crazy. So far I've been pretty calm and know that God will work everything out for the better. Lately thought its been getting harder to be as confident as i keep trying to take hold of my life, which I seem to forget sometimes that God should always be in control. I just want so badly to be done with school and to be where Tim is, since we have spent the majority of our relationship away from each other. But hey! We are almost to 11 months! YAY! It's just hard because of those 11 the longest time we have been in the same city was only 4 weeks for winter break, one of which I was went back to school. I miss him, that's pretty much the bottom line.

The good news is that I will be having the easiest term of my life next term because I only need 14 more credits and I can take whatever I want. Needless to say I will be taking dance and PE classes. I will be graduating in june about a month after Tim does and hopefully by then he will have a job.